Brentt Harshman

I will be posting Onion headlines I have written even though I don’t work for or have any connections with The Onion.

Every morning I ask myself “should I shower today?” I always go with a big yes, but it’s that battle leading up to that yes that matters.

Still having weird feelings about how many sacks and assholes I saw at the ucb theater last night.

Filming a little short sketch/character video sometime based off something I wrote a while ago. /uselesspost

I will miss Forte. He was definitely my favorite castmember from the last few years. I hope he continues on a path of great success and strays away from the Romantic Comedy path so many have gone down.

I get nervous about the dumbest things. I get into mini-panic mode about things that won’t be that big of a deal. Here are some real-life examples that happened to me today that I almost started freaking about:

 - Had to work at a different Starbucks today that I have never been to. Started pre-planning what would happen if I didn’t call in. Came really close to hyperventilating.

OUTCOME:

Worked, and it went fine. Didn’t like the store, but that had nothing to do with my fears.

 - Have been short $14 in rent this week. Almost didn’t go home when I got off work at noon from fear I would be kicked out.

OUTCOME:

Finally went home, no one was there, fell asleep after 24 hours of being awake. Woke up and went to School Night.

 - Was outside UCB Theater an hour or so before School Night because I had nothing else to do, a friend of mine who techs it starts walking towards UCB from the intersection. I start thinking to myself about how stupid I look so early for a show that never has a line. I start thinking that all the people who walk by and see me (performers, audience, civilians walking the sidewalk, my friends) think I am some stupid loser. I start getting in the dumps.

OUTCOME:

She enters Gristedes and then exits. She sees me and very enthusiastically says hello to me. All is well.

 - Was on the train headed home tonight. A stop passes and the doors open, Ben Rodgers enters my car. He stays on the train and I see him getting off at Montrose which happens to be my stop. He looks over at me spotting him. I turn away. I stand up and exit the train aswell. In my mind, he thinks I am following him and am planning on killing him or something…which I wasn’t. In fact, he is one of my favorite performers, why would I kill him?

OUTCOME:

NOTHING. I get home, he still has no idea who I am.

I AM STUPID!!! Why do I over-analyze and over-think all situations. I know these are stupid thoughts and anxieties, but I have them. UGH!

About Going Home For Thanksgiving and Possibly Christmas:

1. Watching My Movies
2. Playing My XBox Games
3. Saving Money/Picking Up Shrimp Shack Shifts
4. Not Being At Starbucks
5. The Beach
6. Home Cooked Meals
7. Moe’s
8. Sonny’s
9. Friends
10. Family

Will Hines posted on his Improv Nonsense blog a few months back about how he was getting in a rut with improv. Nothing was exciting him, and blah blah blah (I am paraphrasing).

Unfortunately, I feel I am getting to that point. I go to shows. If you go to a UCB improv show, chances are I am there or at least thought about going (I usually skip out on Friday/Saturday shows because I don’t have ten bucks to spend on improv). Lately, I have been predicting all the game moves and have just been unenthused with almost everything unless it comes from Neil Casey, Will Hines, Erik Tanouye, John Gemberling, or Jack McBrayer’s mouths (unfortunately, McBrayer is a rare sight now-a-days).

I am not asking for a Stepfathers vision quest monoscene (like Hines got) as a cure, nor am I asking for help or advice. Just wanted to get it out in the air that basically the only thing I love right now is just old news to me as of late. Someone needs to create a new form or a new team that just blows me away…or I need to have a class where I feel I improvise some amazing shit.

Welp, that is just a rant.

Arsenio Hall

-or-

Curtis Jackson

-or-

Andre Romelle Young

and I need you. I need you to be an actor in it, and if it got picked up, to be a mainstay in it. If you are interested, let me know and I’ll give you specifics.

Man, I dislike some stand-up comedians.

Leo Allen isn’t one of them.

Did some mini-exploring today. Walked through Chelsea Market then walked around the High Line Park. Very cook, wish I had money so I could eat at one of the fancy restaurants inside the Market.

(via yourfriendmitch)

YES

Man, fuck Hot Spot as a warm-up. Crazy 8’s, Bad Rap and Follow the Follower for life! #suckingatimprovtoday #inmyhead

I wrote a pilot for the NYTVF, it didn’t get picked. I still love it. I want to film it. I want your help. If you want to act in it, direct it, lend your cameras, lend your locations, feed the crew, etc…let me know!